New Pictures of RUBY MEI {and a surgery update}

Last night I received a text that made me start shaking, crying, and running to wake up John.  It was a new picture of our baby girl!!  I very sweet family that I have gotten to know through emails and messaging these past months is currently in Fuzhou, Fujian adopting their baby girl.  The kind mama had offered to inquire about Ruby for us when they visited the orphanage that the 2 girls were once in at the same time.  We had been told by other families that this particular orphanage would not allow families to see other children, take pictures, or get information about other children so we did not have any expectations.  But there were lots of prayers!  Imagine my surprise when I got a text late last night with a picture, and several messages saying that the orphanage was very happy to let them meet Ruby, touch her, talk to her, and ask questions about her!  She is going to send me a detailed email explaining all they learned but she texted me these pictures right away before they went to sleep for the night.  She says that they have even more pictures coming!!  This has surpassed all of our hopes and prayers.  It is a very special, rare opportunity to gain this kind of information and to receive all of these extra pictures!  She apologized that some were blurry but she said that her hand wouldn't stop shaking, she was holding her new daughter, and she kept reaching down to touch Ruby's little hands.  :)  I will take any pictures I can get- blurry or not!
Here is what we have found out so far:  Ruby had just returned that morning from being in the hospital for awhile following a lip surgery.  We are trying to get more information regarding this- we had no idea that she was going to have a second surgery there- she had already had her lip repair before we were matched with her.  How thankful we are that she had just returned in time for this family to see her!  Perfect timing!  The nannies said that Ruby is a very quiet baby and the family was able to get her to smile at them several times. :)  We can't wait to see more pictures and to hear all the other things they have learned about her.  I will share the rest of the pictures tomorrow!
About one more month to go until we hold her in our arms- I've never wanted time to fly by as much as I do right now.

UPDATE:  We had our adoption coordinator inquire about Ruby's surgery and she found out that it was actually to close her cleft palate!!  We did not want her to have anymore surgeries in China.  We wanted to pick her surgeon and mostly for her to be with her family during her recovery.  I have also heard that she could have spent a month or more in the hospital there after each surgery!  :(  I know there is nothing that can be done at this point but I cried and cried for her for days- not rational I realize, but I was just so heartbroken for her.  My poor baby.

January 1, 2014 {the day we learned our daughter's name and story}

On New Year's morning I came downstairs at 10:30 and went to check my emails like I usually do.  There was an email from our adoption coordinator with a subject line that I had used when I wrote her to ask a question a couple of days before.  So naturally I assumed she was just answering the question.  I opened the email and started reading... she did answer the question.  But then at the end(all non-chalant like) she wrote:  "I locked a file for you tonight of a baby girl with cleft lip and palate. Please let me know if you are interested in pursuing her adoption."  WHAT??!!??!?!?!  And there was the attachment way at the bottom of the email- labeled "Zhang Rong Can".

I immediately started shaking and frantically telling John what I read.  I ran to get the kids-  I wanted the first time we laid our eyes on our newest daughter to be done all together as a family.

And then I clicked on her file.  We opened her picture... and there she was.  Absolutely beautiful and positively ours.  A sweet, tiny, perfect, adorable little peanut.  And it was her birthday!!  

I new from the beginning of the process that our daughter would have a cleft lip and palate.  I can't explain how or why but I just did.  So I was not surprised or worried.  We had already done a ton of research about this medical condition.  We had prepared the kids all these months so that they were very familiar with it too.  When they saw her they just kept saying how cute she was- over and over again. :)  And boy oh boy- is she ever!

The file told us that Rong Can has a bilateral cleft and palate.  

And we thought she was absolutely perfect.

Oh those cheeks!!  I cannot wait to kiss them a million times!

Those little toes!!!

We stared and read and read and stared. 

We had 72 hours to review her file, consult doctors if we wanted to, and decide.

We emailed our coordinator and asked for an update since the pictures and info we had was from 2 months ago.  But we already knew in our hearts she was ours.  We were going to request that all surgeries be postponed until after the adoption, so that she could be with us during recovery.

We celebrated her birthday that evening with Chinese food of course!!

I was sad she couldn't be with us on her birthday but we were so happy and thankful that we finally "met" our new baby girl.

The next day we received an update with new pictures.  That's when we found out they had already repaired her lip.  We were upset that she had to go through that without us, but there was nothing that could be done.  We will be with her for her palate surgeries though.

And then, knowing that we had all the information we were ever going to receive at this stage, and knowing that she was ours, I sat down to email our coordinator to tell her that yes, we absolutely want to adopt precious Rong Can... and thank you very much for finding our baby girl for us!  :)

I wrote a letter called "Letter of Intent" that would be sent to China.  It states that we are formally requesting to adopt Zhang Rong Can from Fuzhou, Fujian.

Done!

And just like that we were on our way!  The second half of our adoption process had begun:  bringing our baby girl home to her new family.  We couldn't believe it.  Every minute of those days my tummy was full of butterflies- I looked at her pictures 80 million times.  We are in LOVE with RongCan.  No doubt about it.

She may be half a world away from us but she is ours and we are counting down the days until we can hold her in our arms and smother her with kisses and hugs.

LOA!!!!

Today was a VERY special day for our family and our adoption process.  It was the day I've been we've been anxiously waiting on for 50 days.  We got our LOA!!!

I'm sure this FedEx driver didn't even realize how special this envelope was or that we had spent all morning and afternoon staring out the window and listening for the bell.  I was going to tell him but he had already ran back to the truck by the time I opened the door- so I snapped this pic instead.  

We have our LOA in our hands!  I still can't believe it.  LOA stands for Letter of Acceptance- it is the official approval from China stating we may adopt our daughter.  It also means that we are allowed to share her picture, name, and birth place, and birthdate.  We can now send her a care package, apply for her immigration(which, by the way, we already did all the paperwork for today and overnighted it to USCIS!)  Every day counts- we want to get to her as fast as humanely possible!

So here she is everyone...  Our beautiful baby girl- the newest little Porter- the little peanut that makes us a wonderful family of 6.  Just look at those cheeks!  I can't wait to smother them with a million kisses.  And cuddle her, and rock her, and hold her in my arms forever. :)

Her Chinese name is Zhang Rong Can.  I asked our kind adoption coordinator(who happens to be Chinese!) if she could tell me what her name means based on the Chinese characters.  Zhang is a common surname, Rong means: small-fruited fig tree or banyan tree, and Can means:  magnificent, splendid and bright.  How great is that???  Once we found that out we decided we wanted to keep her Chinese name for her as a middle name.  So, now her name is quite long, but very beautiful!

Ruby Mei Antionette RongCan Porter

Born on January 1, 2013

Fuzhou City, Fujian, China

Her first name will be Ruby Mei(pronounced May but spelled the Chinese way) because this is the name we have had in our hearts this entire journey- and Mary Beth picked it out herself for her sweet baby sister.  RongCan is her Chinese name as I mentioned, and Antionette after my Italian great-grandmother, who was a very,very special part of my life.

We've been told she smiles a lot, is quiet, loves cereal, applesauce and cake, and can roll over and sit.  Looks like she just finished some yummy cereal in the picture! :)

We can't wait to get to know her and learn about her special personality.

We will continue to share any new pictures and info we receive, and of course share our journey to China and back on here!  Our agency has told us we should expect to travel in late April to early May.  YAY!!!!  So close!  Thank you again and again for all of your support, prayers, and encouragement the past 11 months- our family could not be more appreciative.

what adoption means to us

 

Mary Beth picked out these gifts for her sister and is saving them for the day when we are allowed to send them to her in the orphanage.  The big elephant she will save to give her in person.  She sleeps with them all every night... it's so sweet.

I wanted to share here what adoption means to us:

Adoption wonderful way to add another little one to our happy family- another little one to love with all of our hearts.  It doesn't mean agony in the waiting, or despair about the cost, or anger over the seemingly endless paperwork.  Those things are only very small inconveniences- easily forgotten when it's over(just like labor pains!) and they are definitely a very insignificant part of the journey.  Adoption is about giving a child a family that didn't have one before, adding more love and joy to our home and our hearts, growing our family, and making a whole lifetime of new memories.  The other stuff is nothing- truly!   It is just stuff- it should never stop anyone from considering adoption if their hearts are leading them down that path.  Paperwork is no big deal when it's over- it seems endless in the beginning but after it's done- you look back and think heck, that wasn't THAT bad!  The waiting is very similar to waiting while you are pregnant- 9 months is a long wait too... so what's a few more?  And the cost... well- yes, it's quite a bit.  But someone said to me once that IVF costs almost that much and people pay that all the time without any guarantee that it will even result in a pregnancy.  So true!  And how can any price be put on a human life?  We would pay anything to bring one of our children home if that's what it took- or to save their life... so how is this any different?  There are always ways to make money- and there is plenty of time to do it too.  If you are considering adoption and the money part makes you feel like it isn't possible for you- spend some time reading adoption blogs... families adopt over and over again- on one income and very little disposable income!  There is always a way!!  Grants, fundraisers, donations, extra jobs, the adoption tax credit, ect.  Please feel free to contact me if you need ideas or have questions.  I am always happy to talk about adoption!

Merry Christmas to our Little Angel

(photo by Carrie Snyder- The Forum)

As you can see we hung 6 stockings by the fire this year... one for our little girl who is waiting half way around the world for us to come and get her- while we wait here to hold her in our arms.  She is never not in our thoughts and in our prayers.  We may not know what she looks like yet but our youngest daughter is out there and we wish more than anything that she was here with us this Christmas.  But we know that it is highly likely she will be with us for the next one!  So even though this part is difficult- not being able to spend these special firsts with her- we rejoice in the fact that soon we will be together and begin our whole lifetime of special moments together.  And that makes us very happy indeed.

The Forum came and took our picture and did a story about this phase of our adoption journey.  If you didn't read it already you can find it here.

I heard this song recently about adoption... it brought me to tears and I wanted to share some of the lyrics here:

There’s a little girl trembling on a cold December morn Crying for her momma’s arms at an orphanage just outside a little China town There the forgotten are But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms And tell you from my heart I wish you a Merry Christmas

"The Teepee Lady" {adoption fundraising}

Maybe you are wondering where I have been???
Well- I have been making things like a mad woman!

You see, a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving Ashley from Unglued asked me if I would be interested in making a bunch of teepees to sell in the new holiday pop-up shop they would be opening on Black Friday.  She extended the offer that she gives us on the other crafts I sell at their other shop:  100% of the sales would go directly to our adoption fund- they would not keep a cut.  This is very generous and has since been a HUGE blessing to our family.  Why?  Because everything is selling REALLY WELL!!  And so to keep up, I spend every spare minute making teepees, fort kits, scarves, and scrappy bunting! :)  Here are some pictures of what I've been making:

 

The second week I tried something new- doll sized teepees!  They turned out so cute.  My dear friend Wendy offered to crochet mini afghans for them- look how beautiful they are!

Here are the other VERY popular items... fort kits!
I can barely keep up making them- and I get why... they are the perfect present.  It's a gift of imagination, adventure, and hours of fun.  What kid doesn't love a fort??

I've got some Christmas scrappy garland for sale there too! 

And here are some of the scarves I'm selling- flannel infinity, and I also have some super soft double-looped knit infinity scarves also(aztec print!).

 

We have made MANY, MANY trips to home improvement stores for lumber and bamboo to keep up with the teepee sales.  Each time John says:  this has to be more than we will need!  And then we always end up going back in a few days!  :)

Here are some pictures of the kid-size teepees set up at the pop-up shop:  Unglued's Very Merry Market

Each teepee comes with a vintage afghan and a string of coordinating scrappy bunting.

Oh, and I am now known around Fargo as The Teepee Lady- ha!

Here's the whole store:  (the teepees take up the entire back end!)

Isn't it gorgeous?? If you have not visited this shop yet- do it!  They have the cutest things for sale in there and many fun events every week!  The holiday pop-up shop (Unglued's Very Merry Market) is at 102 Broadway in downtown Fargo(right across from the HoDo) and it's amazing!

Here are the scrappy garlands I sell at the original Unglued.  And next to them is one of the chandelier hoops I sell there too.

And my vintage book page hoops- I think these are my favorite!

A VERY special thank you to John's mom for all of the thrift store trips she has been making to find me all of these hoops for my crafts!  Amazing!  I keep getting boxes of them and thank goodness!  Because I couldn't make this stuff without them.  Paying full price just wasn't an option for us!  

Thank you so much Donna!

Ok, well- now you know why there haven't been any posts in awhile!  Between this, homeschooling the kids, trying to decorate for the holidays, and everything else, I haven't had a spare second!

I will try and post the Halloween pics, ect. soon.

Also, no new adoption news... still just waiting to be matched.  It could take up to 8 months from our LID so all there is to do is just wait!  It is disappointing and frustrating when months go by without being matched with our daughter but staying busy is helping and also we know in our hearts that it will all play out in the way it is meant to.  And she is surely worth the wait!

Thank you for all of your continued prayers and support during these past months- we appreciate it more than we can ever express in words. 

And to all the customers who have bought any of my items- 

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!  

Adopting a Child with Special Needs

November is Orphan Awareness Month.

So I will be posting a lot about adoption and orphan care this month.

As many of you know we have chosen to adopt a child with special needs- 

this is a great short film talking more about that.

Here are some great articles explaining why there are so many special needs adoptions coming out of China.

The Changing Face of China’s Orphans

Changing Attitudes

When a family goes this route, they are able to tell their agency which needs they are open to, what they are comfortable with and what they feel their family is able to handle.  A lot of research through reading and talking to other families went into our decision about what needs we would be open to.

If any of you have any questions for us regarding this topic, please ask!  We are always happy to talk about adoption and specifically our personal journey.